The Dairy Queen

When I was growing up, my mom would sometimes joke that our family needed a cow to support my obsession with milk.  I came home from school every day and poured myself a big tall glass of milk, and then drank it in one gulp.  My brothers complained that I filled my glass of milk, drank half of it, then filled it up again before sitting down to dinner.  The fact is, I love milk.

Not just milk, though.  I love almost anything dairy.  String cheese, yogurt, bagels with cream cheese, chocolate milk, pizza (a cheeseless pizza is not truly a pizza), quesadillas, milkshakes, ice cream, and all kinds of pasta made with half and half or whipping cream.  The list could go on and on. 

So you can imagine how completely crestfallen I was just a few weeks ago when I discovered that I have acquired lactose intolerance.

Over the past several months I've been getting sick 3-4 times a week at exactly the same time every night--about 8 or 9 pm.  Sometimes it was horrible and I couldn't really concentrate on anything, but other times it was just feeling a little bloated.  When Joe and I realized that this wasn't going away and it was quite regular, we started trying to figure out what it might be.  We slowly started ruling out things I might be allergic to and other reasons for my mysterious ailment.  The night Joe suggested that I might be lactose intolerant, I didn't want to consider it.  Milk?  But what will I put in my cereal in the morning?  How can I possibly eat tacos without sour cream, and pizza without cheese?!  And I simply can't give up ice cream.  That's just not negotiable.


I kept getting sick, and slowly the idea of giving up milk became more and more appealing.  So I went on a dairy-free diet.  And sure enough, the nights of holding my stomach and making multiple trips to the bathroom ceased.  It was incredible.  And also depressing, at the same time.  I was happy to discover the cause of everything, but sad to find it was indeed what I had feared.  Couldn't this have happened to a milk-hater?  Why the milk-lover?   

Just attempting to cut dairy out of my diet was an eye-opening experience.  I thought it would be no big deal, but that was before I realized how much of my diet and recipe book depends on dairy products.  You just can't substitute water for milk in pudding or chicken haystacks.  

Like any good chick flick, there is a happy ending to this story.  Just when you think this can't possibly end well, it does.  I discovered lactase supplement, and that itty bitty little pill has single-handedly brought ice cream and milk back into my life.  We're back to buying 2 gallons of millk at a time, and I joyously ate ice cream at our stake social last night.  And Darci and Milk lived happily ever after.